The Sun is Out
The First Friday Class tonight, January 5, 2024, approaches a conversation about the rainbow and how I have chosen to work with its promise and share how it has brought me through to the other side of my own intense emotions. There is so much to look forward to.
This month I want to tell you about an unforgettable time I had at an early age with a rainbow. My father who died on this very day in 2005, liked to play church tapes and our family had to sit around the living room to listen. It was long and boring. As kids we couldn’t really appreciate the intentions and it serves me now because i know that our kids don’t do as we say but as we do. My parents rarely went to church but as soon as we were old enough to walk on our own we had to go. Often we used the 50 cents they gave us for the basket to buy chocolate and just walked around the block a few times and barely made it in time for communion. I do, however, see the effort to try to give our kids what we think might help them in the future. As they did back then, I now listen to the Hallow app and Bible stories on youtube. I digress…
So there I was, maybe 8 years old, still silly. I am tossing this colorful blanket over myself, either Rainbow bright or Care Bears, I can’t clearly remember. Feet in the air, hands in the air, turning myself into a fort, preacher preaching in the background through a cassette/record player we had. I was laying on a brown sofa with images of log cabins and forests in the fabric, on one end my sister, myself on the other and my mother in the middle. I was in my head, visioning, imagining, forgetting the focus of the moment-not much has changed about me in that aspect. I begin to notice the bright sun piercing through my blankets. I suddenly kicked the blankets off of me and shouted, “the Sun is Out”, just like Annie and then burst into song while Church was still playing. I am a self proclaimed air head, I have no shame left about it so I can easily admit it’s true but at the moment I didn’t realize that what I had done was funny. The energy in the room shifted. My father was usually feigning control by being strict and mean but even he couldn’t resist how cute I was.
I Am.
On a day like today seated at his desk at WP, looking out at this evolving and ever beautiful view, when i am remembering him on the day he died, I know moments like this are the promise of rainbows. The ones printed on my kid blanket, floating memories, the one formed by fractals of light shining through our window, the one right now, in my heart bridging me on earth and him in heaven. Every time I get into a stick shift car, whenever I am here in Costa Rica, as I eat pa-pa-paya for breakfast like he did I am walking that bridge.
Papi, may you be resting peacefully. Thank you for all you continue to do for me.
Head over to the events page and enter the password RAINBOW2024 to find the details on how to join my free monthly class. It’s tonight!! 8pm!!
