The Lark, a sample letter to self

Congratulations! You gave yourself a simple task. Once a month write an email and blog and share it. Nothing came in the way of getting the first friday newsletter done. The times I started ahead helped me feel calm. The times I let myself procrastinate and rush at the last minute were agitating. I dealt with the idea that my writing sucks and I have nothing of value to say. It’s also undeniable that I have a theme weaving all this perceived mess together. If I could have a bird’s eye view of my life I would see the mess is the tufting of a lovely tapestry. I  remember the signs I received with the Lark. Last week I was behind two separate vehicles, two separate times and they both had the word lark in their company name. I sit with my kid on the sofa while he watches a funny movie whose main character is named lark too. I make a left on Lark driving to a new place etc etc.

 The lark is a ground dweller and sings in flight. 

I say to you now. Slow down. Get grounded in your business and creativity. Just start harnessing your energy. Spend time with yourself pulling back your energy, creating boundaries for your ideas, protecting energy and projects and completion.

Just for a little while focus on what you really want. Everything will turn out well if you align to the bigger and better of your heart. Let that transformation happen and then let the business and the ideas and the lovers and the wild dreams come true come to you. You deserve it all.

Find peace, find a pace and hold it until you can create for yourself a sense of grounding and safety. Don’t let fear dictate your way forward, act in accordance with your becoming.

It’s a lovely vision. A life as a writer. A home with my children and family. A home just for me with monkeys in the back, a gorgeous cotton candy sky at sunset, many many stories…

You can have and do all of that, you know. The trick is to remember that there is only now. What you do now creates the future and transmutes the past. 

This morning as I walked the park my mind drifted to some lifetime when I was in the wild studying and researching. I had a baby in my forties and refused to give up my work so I traveled with her. A lioness I had followed and created an affinity for found us one night.  She ate my baby. I shot her between the eyes and had her skinned. Her skull was treated so that everytime i walked into my office i could step on her head. My research won awards and everything I wanted I got. The bullet mark on the lioness was adorned with gold and my baby’s initial. I wore a matching charm on my own chain. It was the worst pain and the best life. Divine that. A few days ago I had a dream with a still crocodile as large as the body of water it lay still watching in. I also stood still and watched. Here’s my guidance.

Stay low to the ground, practice what you know, believe and believe and believe.

When it feels like no one else loves you, remember that I love you.